This past week has been a whirlwind of new experiences, language, culture, and personal realization. It has been uncomfortable and satisfying and growing. Allow me to elaborate. Once, I got to South Africa was hit with the fact that I am not going to see family, friends, familiar sights, conveniences for at least 6 months. Of course, I should have realized this as I was preparing to leave, but I think it some times takes leaving to come to a full understanding of what one is going up. That realization happened within 48 hrs of being in South Africa. I was so home sick that I second-guessed why I had decided to come here in the first place. That being said, after a week of being here I have refocused and have a renewed faith why I am here (which never really left, just got blinded in missing relationships and familiarity). This past week has taught me total surrender to God.

I thought I had totally surrendered everything to God before I left the states. Listened to God I left everything behind: job, family, friendships, comfort. But, God wanted more and I still had more to give him. You see though I trusted God with providing for me, I have realized that I didn’t trust to fill that the gaps once I left. Or maybe I should say I didn’t understand how painful it would be for God to fill the gaps in my life. I had been holding on to my job, family, friends, and comfort as something that defined me. Once that was taken away from me I felt extremely vulnerable because I questioned where my value would come from. Which is ludicrous, because my value and security should coming from being a Son of God and serving him.

This past week, I have so utterly reminded that my value is in Christ and that His will is the most comfortably uncomfortable place to be. For God is good. I have also come to the realization of what Jesus talks about when he speaking in John 9:57-62. Jesus was with his disciples. “As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, ‘I will follow you wherever you go.’

Jesus replied, ‘Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.’

He said to another man, ‘Follow me.’

But the man replied, ‘Lord first let me go and bury my father.’

Jesus said to him, ‘Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.’

Still another said, ‘I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.’

Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.’”

Jesus is preparing people that come to him asking to follow him. He is telling that it will cost everything that they hold dear- comfort, wonderful job, family. I have a deeper amazement and respect for the disciples and apostles that followed Jesus as he called them into his new kingdom. I know they most have felt all of the same things I have been feeling, but they didn’t have skype, email, or cell phones to keep in contact with people.

What is interesting that you never hear what happened to the people that Jesus spoke to in John 9:57-62. Did the one man decide not to go home and bury his father? Did he even have a father to bury? Did the other go and say goodbye to his family and then follow after Jesus? Maybe Jesus saw that the man was trying to hold back because of something or knew that family was the last thing that would keep the man from following after him. Only thing you read after that is John 10:1-24. Jesus sends out seventy-two men and women. The seventy-two go out two-by-two and do many miracles and healings with the power of Christ. They brought nothing with them and times were rejected, but came back rejoicing because they say the power of Christ first hand.

I know at Trinity, people are going through Counterfeit gods by Tim Keller, which exams the idols that we hold before our relationship with God. I am reading through the book as well. As I examine other areas of my life that I have not totally surrendered to God, I am excited to live into the life of the seventy-two that Jesus sent out not just here in Durban and KwaZulu-Natal, but also when I come back to the States.

I want to thank everyone for his or her prayers. I have truly felt as sense of peace since being here. I know it comes from a great cloud of witness that I have behind me. Just recently I read through Ephesians and would like to give you all encouragement from Africa. From the words of Paul in Ephesians 3:14-21

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Please continue to lift me up in praises as I left you up in mine. Pray for continued wisdom as I learn how to care for patients in Siyaphila and get accustom to things here in Durban. I was fortunate to meet up with Siyanda (director of Light Providers- one of LSAs partners) today and go to church, which was much needed. I greatly encouraged by him as he talked about wanting to hang out as I spend time here in South Africa. Praise God for new relationships!!