Compassion, Not Pity

Blog Post: Compassion, not Pity

Walking around Durban, it is hard to not see poverty on every street corner. For instance, once a week I go to an internet café to have a cappuccino and fast internet. It’s about a fifteen-minute walk from the hospital to the café called Peg. On the way at nearly every corner there is at least one person walking amongst the cars begging for money. Cynically, I think that most of these people are putting on a show- faking a limp, crippled hand, have a down trout look on their face, etc. Or maybe it is my way of trying to cope with the need in front of me. That being said, I do believe that most are in need- whether it be financial, food, resources, spiritual healing, or something else.

            At times, I wonder if people driving by or walking by notice these individuals, do they fade into the background of the cityscape? Or maybe people are so struck by the poverty around them they feel powerless to do anything about it. Whatever the situation maybe there is something wrong about this.

            Which has made me ask myself, how should I respond? Not just to poverty here Durban, but poverty in general. The easy response would be to throw money at the situation. Which in the short run works, but how is the person receiving money valued or impacted by that. They are receiving something that they need correct, but is that truly what they need? Another solution would be to change the system, but in reality that is a lengthy process which takes tons of experience and insight to change. Although this should be worked on, it doesn’t solve the immediate need. So one thing that I have come up with is compassion, not pity.

Pity, to me means seeing a person in need feeling sorry for them and their situation and that is only response. Compassion to me means feeling for someone, seeing the situation he or she is in, and responding to that need accurately. It seems to me that most people don’t need money, although that may be what they are asking for. If a person comes to ask me for money, I normally tell them that I don’t give out money, but I would like to buy them groceries if that is what they are truly in need of. That also gives me a chance to actually speak with the person and get to know them. Although it is hard here in South Africa, most of the time in the States I try and refer the person to resources that are better equipped to help their situation.

            I’m not saying this is what everyone is called to do. But, I think it addresses a bigger issue of valuing people. In Matthew 14:14-21, Jesus is filled compassion for the people that are following him. He heals their sick and decides that the people must be feed. So he takes five loaves of bread and two fish and feeds five thousand people with food left over. If Christ had compassion are five thousand, what is one person asking for food.

            This is not to say that, every single person I come across I go and buy groceries for. But, I do try and stop and talk with person at least. Who knows whom one will run into?

            That being said, thank you for reading my blog. All I write is meant to be an encouragement. This current situation I have been processing since I have gotten here to South Africa, although in Indy is was something I thought about. Here it is a reality one can’t get away from so easily. Things here continue to be in full motion. Hopefully in my next few posts I will be able to give you a day to day of what I have been doing. 

Easter Weekend with Light Providers

Pictures from my time with the Light Providers Crew. It was such a blessed time of fellowship. I was able to get away from the city and out to the township. The food was great, but the fellowship was better. In case you are wondering about the chess game that I am playing with Sabelo, I lost horribly. He is a bit of a ringer when it comes to playing chess apparently. No one told me that until I had played two games with him. He was undefeated the whole day.

Above: Vuzi and I, giving the thumbs up.

Above: Vuzi and I, just having a good time in fellowship together

Above: Following the guys around the building to check-out the hillside.

Above: Playing Sabelo in chess, he wiped the board with me.

Above: Mural on the one of the buildings at Light Providers.

Experiences in March

Sorry it’s been a while since my last post. Things here have been in full swing and quiet busy over the past few weeks. Let me share the wonderful experiences that I have had over the past few weeks.

Two weekends ago, I had the honor to go with one of my housemates (Lebby) to a counselor’s house in a township. Sizile was quiet nice in opening her house to us, she even came into town (a 45 minute ride by a mini taxi bus) to fetch us. We spent the whole day helping her with errands and then took the mini taxi bus out to her house. While at her house she entertained us and taught us how to make traditional Zulu bread, which tastes wonderful!! While at her house we got to play with her son, who was 1 ½ years old. At first her son wasn’t quiet sure of me, he didn’t even want to touch me. But, by the end of the time he let me hold and play airplane with him. It was such a treat.

Sunday, I was able to hang out with Siyanda and the Light Provider crew after church. We went downtown and grabbed lunch at a shop. We then hung out in a park for the afternoon. Enjoying each other’s company.

Sunday evening, I was able to go to Sizwe’s house (who is the leader of the church I attend Sunday mornings). Sizwe and his family were very generous in providing dinner and great fellowship. Sizwe showed me video of how traditional Zulu churches worshipped and why he did church differently then other churches. We talked about family and issues facing many people in the townships around Durban. He asked me about healthy diets for families and asked me to come to couples meetings to teach about healthy cooking and eating habits.

On Thursday of this past week, I was able to go to my supervisor, Claire’s house with my housemate Lebby (who is an intern here from Union college) for a braai. It was a wonderful break from the city, to go out into the Valley of a Thousand Hills (which is one of the most beautiful places one could ever see). The picture to the right doesn't do the scenery justice. We had a wonderful time talking about the hospital and life before South Africa. We were joined by Oliva (who previously held Claire’s position at McCord) and her husband, as well as Mark’s (Claire’s husband) best friend grow

ing up Chris and his wife. I was able to convince Mark to take me to go snake hunting with him and his friend Chris (who collects snakes). Hopefully soon, I will be able to get together with him to find some snakes.

Thursday night, I was able to stay at Makaphutu. Which is where I stayed for the two weeks that I came with LSA on my first trip here. It was such a blessing to be able to spend time with Nic (the director of Makaphutu) and hear how life was going at the children’s village. (Below are pictures of the view from Makaphutu, its what I woke-up too Friday morning)

The next morning we (Lebby and I) rose early to go to the Hillcrest AIDS Center. Which was one of the many highlights of the past few weeks. Hillcrest AIDS Center is only 21 years old, yet the impact that the organization is having on the community is monumental. As an organization Hillcrest AIDS Center wants to impact the HIV/AIDS pandemic by unconditionally loving those infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. The organization loves people through many programs: HIV counseling and testing, feeding scheme, clothing scheme, Othandweni Respite unit (hospice), clinic and nursing services, HIV/AIDS awareness and education, craft revenue, support of grandmothers in the community, and plant nursery and gardening scheme. The Hillcrest AIDS Center is holistic and practical in the way that they are impacting HIV/AIDS in the community around them. In my opinion, Hillcrest AIDS Center is one of the best examples of how local people in an area of need can impact the lives of those around them.

Again, sorry it has been such a long time since I have updated my blog. I promise I will be update more regularly. Thank you to everyone who actually reads this. I hope you are enjoy hearing of my experiences and thoughts.